Starting School

How to help your child settle into nursery or kindergarten

Starting school is a big change for a young child and for their parents. A few predictable, gentle routines can make the transition feel safer and more manageable.

1. Talk about school in simple, honest language

Tell your child what will happen in a few clear steps: you will travel to school, greet the teacher, say goodbye, and return later. Avoid promising that they will never feel sad. Instead, let them know that teachers will help them and that you will come back.

2. Practise short separations before the first day

Time with a trusted relative or caregiver gives children experience saying goodbye and reconnecting later. Start with short periods and keep the goodbye calm and consistent.

3. Create a predictable morning rhythm

Children feel more secure when they know what comes next. Prepare clothes and the school bag the night before, leave enough time for breakfast, and use the same short sequence each morning.

4. Keep goodbyes warm and brief

A long or uncertain goodbye can make separation harder. Use one familiar phrase, offer a hug, tell your child when you will return in terms they understand, and allow the teacher to guide them toward an activity.

5. Let your child bring a small piece of home

If the school permits it, a family photo, small comfort item, or familiar handkerchief can help during the first days. Ask the teacher what is appropriate and easy to store.

6. Ask specific questions after school

“Did you have fun?” can be difficult for a young child to answer. Try questions such as “What did you build today?”, “Who sat near you at snack time?”, or “What song did you hear?” Specific prompts make it easier to share.

7. Expect adjustment to take time

Some children settle quickly; others need several weeks. Tiredness, clinginess, or bigger emotions at home can be part of the adjustment. Keep routines steady and share any concerns with the teacher so home and school can respond together.

When should you speak with the school?

Talk with the teacher if distress remains intense, your child cannot recover after separation, or you notice ongoing changes in sleep, eating, or behaviour. The goal is not to label the child, but to understand what support may help.